Beyond Help
by dogsandcoffeepots
Summary: "What?" the Doctor gasped, his eyes widening in shock and confusion as he realised what the Master wanted him to do. He hadn't been expecting his. He could never have been expecting this. "No! I can't. I would never..."[Dark Themes: Death, violence, vaguely slashy if you want it to be]


**Title****: Beyond Help**

**Summary: "What?" the Doctor gasped, his eyes widening in shock and confusion as he realised what the Master wanted him to do. He hadn't been expecting his. He could never have been expecting this. "No! I can't. I would never..." Tragedy.**

**Warnings: Dark themes, death, violence. **

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><p>The Doctor thought he would be glad to see the Master again but now that he was here in front of him in the TARDIS, he couldn't feel anything but empty misery when he saw what the other – the <em>only <em>other – Time Lord had become. There he was, crouched down on the ground in front of him, hands clutched against his head in total agony. There was nothing to be joyful about in this reunion. The Doctor simultaneously knew that both something and nothing had changed for the Master. There was something altogether more defeated and tragic in his eyes when he looked at him as he walked towards him but his expression was still one of hatred and confusion. "Master?" he whispered gently as he knelt down beside him.

This was greeted only by a primal snarl from the other man who looked up at him, eyes flashing dangerously, angrily.

"You should be dead," the Doctor commented quietly, "I... I saw you die!"

The Master raised an eyebrow challengingly, licking his lips thoughtfully before he replied. "And, ta-da! I'm alive again. Now isn't that a cool trick?" his voice was almost sing-song, the Doctor thought but by he knew the Master well enough to identify the hidden pain and confusion in his voice, even if he wasn't going to admit it.

"Master..." the Doctor began, not quite sure what to say now. The Master smirked bitterly shutting his eyes and enjoying the sound of his own name, but opened his eyes again when the Doctor carried on and said, "Why are you here?"

The Master frowned a little at this, "Oh, so suddenly you don't want me?" he snarled, moving forwards a little to grab the front of the Doctor's shirt in desperation, jerking him closer, forehead against his. "Suddenly you don't want to keep me?" He practically spat the words, a cruel smirk playing across his lips while he spoke. There was something behind this that told the Doctor that the Master didn't particularly want this; he didn't want help and he didn't want to be kept.

"That's not true!" the Doctor gasped in shock, taking the Master's hands gently and trying to pry him off the front of his shirt, nervous suddenly, eyes locked onto the other Time Lord. "I'll always want to help you."

"I don't want help though," the Master retorted, eyes flashing. There it was. Confirmation that the Doctor was right. The Master didn't want him. But he must be here for something. There must have been some reason for his being there.

"You're not beyond needing help," the Doctor reasoned calmly, willing the other to see sense but realising this was going to have very little effect. The Master was far too strong willed and proud to admit this, even if he knew – which the Doctor was sure he did – that he needed help.

The Master laughed bitterly, simply proving the Doctor's point, "I'm beyond asking for it. Especially from you."

This hurt. The Doctor couldn't _deny _that hurt. All he ever wanted to do was help this man but every time he tried he was pushed away that little bit further. "But you're not beyond _needing _it. That's what I'm trying to say-."

He yelped in sudden pain when the Master drew a small knife out of his pocket and slashed the Doctor across the cheek with it, defending himself, on his feet in seconds taking a step back, clutching his own head in agony and throwing the knife down. "No, Doctor! No! I-... NO!" Fear and confusion flicked across the Master's face, his eyes telling of a million feelings he wouldn't express verbally. "Stop it. You don't know me! You don't know what I need!"

"I used to know you," the Doctor remarked calmly, despite the smarting pain in his cheek, blood already trailing down his face and the sting of what the Master had said. "And I can see what you've become and I understand what you've become, even if I don't like it," he explained calmly, taking a small step towards the other man who stood his ground defiantly, watching the Doctor with a firm glare. "Master, don't _you_ see what you've become?"

The Master stared at him calculatingly for a moment. "This has always been me."

"No! It hasn't!" the Doctor implored urgently suddenly stepping forwards towards the TARDIS console and pulling a small mirror down on an extending arm before grabbing the Master tightly, holding his arms firmly by his sides and forcing him to look at his own reflection in the mirror. Standing behind him, the Doctor could say his own reflection beside the other, now visibly upset Time Lord. "Look..." He shifted slightly, he pinned the Master to his side with his right arm and then gently took his face with his left hand and made him look in the mirror.

But the Master was already looking, staring wide eyed at the blonde haired figure in the mirror, face streaked with grime and days of struggle. He squirmed a little, taking the Doctor's hand in his and trying to force it away from his face, not letting go of it even when he'd achieved this. The Doctor noticed this prolonged contact and glanced at their interlocked hands for a moment but didn't comment.

The Master didn't really seem to have registered that he was still holding the Doctor's hand tightly. The mirror had distracted him from whatever plan he'd had upon arriving in the TARDIS and blown it into a million shattered pieces. He made eye contact with his reflection and gasped slightly, his small frame tensing in the Doctor's grip fingers tightening on the Doctor's hand, lost in the reflection he could barely call his own. "Doctor..." he breathed quietly, hesitating before carrying on, not looking away from the mirror. "I... I can't change anything."

The Doctor was watching him rather than the mirror now, noticing the unmistakable look of defeat on the other man's face, his hearts breaking for him. "Yes! You can! Of course you can!"

"No..." the master whispered helplessly, his body relaxing in the Doctor's grip, all the fight leaving him. "I can't. I've gone too far to change who I am." He turned to face the Doctor then, looking away from the mirror and taking the Doctor's other wrist in his free hand to stop him moving away. "I don't _want _to have to change..."

"What do you mean?" the Doctor queried, a little confused, "It's never too late to change! I promise you that!"

The Master laughed bitterly "Oh you promised me a lot of things Doctor, and look where that's got us? It's too late now."

"No!"

The Master raised an eyebrow at him. "You don't think if I could have changed by now, I would have?"

The Doctor said nothing.

The Master laughed bitterly, "I thought as much. You know as much as I do that I can't be fixed this time. Not this time." He suddenly looked distracted by a sharp pain in his head, the drums making him oh so aware of their presence, forcing him to cry out in pain.

"I... want to help you!" the Doctor whispered defeatedly, wishing more than anything he could make things right, make everything back to how it should be with him and the Master when they were on Gallifrey at the academy and essentially, happy.

The Master looked at him again, noting the blood still trickling down his cheek slowly then he reached out and ran a finger across the wound. "See? I am a monster. And there's nothing I can do to stop it."

"Let me help you!"

"I want this to stop, Doctor!" the Master told him desperately, pulling away from him, hand on his forehead now. He looked away from the other man and took a deep steadying breath trying to keep himself controlled. "I thought maybe you could help me..."

"I can."

"You can't" the Master told him firmly, frowning a little then turning back to him. "But... Maybe you can." The Doctor was a little shocked by the look of sudden realisation that was playing across the Master's face now, as though everything suddenly made sense to him again.

"H-how?" he whispered quietly, just glad to see him more hopeful.

"I want you to kill me," the Master whispered, his voice low but not especially dangerous. . "Do it, Doctor." The Master's body was shaking slightly as he watched the Doctor but he seemed certain in his words. There was no fear in his eyes when he spoke, only deep, painful desperation.

"What?" the Doctor gasped, his eyes widening in shock and confusion. He hadn't been expecting his. He could never have been expecting this. "No! I can't. I would never..." His hearts started racing in his chest as he realised what the Master had just told him to do. Kill the Master? He'd had so many opportunities to kill him before now yet he never would. He never could kill the Master! Tears sprang to his eyes in fear and hurt because he could tell something had changed in the Master's attitude. He was serious about this. There was no way the Doctor was going to be able to talk him out of this.

"I'm asking you to," the Master told him, perfectly calmly. He took a step back from the Doctor, letting go of him and holding his arms open in an obvious sign of surrender. "Please?"

The Master had never asked like that in so many years – centuries even. The Doctor bit his lip, his voice shaking when he next spoke, "I never could kill you!"

"I want you to. Someone's got to sometime," the Master reasoned.

"No!" the Doctor retorted, wide eyed and clearly terrified. "I... Master, no!"

The look the Master gave him then was one that made the Doctor's world stop and crash into thousands of devastated shards. It was one of sheer desperation and helpless, and it was clear he'd given up completely. A stray tear traced down his cheek, mixing with the dirt, leaving a clean trail. "Doctor... Please..." With that, he picked up the small knife again and walked back to the Doctor with it, shaking only slightly. He turned the knife round and handed the hilt to the Doctor, hand slipping on the Doctor's blood soaking the blade from earlier. "Please," he repeated. "I ... This is what I want."

"It can't be," the Doctor whispered, trying not to take the knife from the other man, desperation written all over his face, tears starting to pour down his cheeks freely now, shaking. "I don't want to do this."

"I'm asking you to," the Master said gently, still holding the blade of the knife and stepping closer to him, positioning the blade against one of his hearts, holding both it and the Doctor's hands steady and on the knife hilt.

The Doctor tried to pull away helplessly but the Master looked seriously at him. "I can't live with this anymore. The drums... I can't... I've... You know, you're right. I've become a monster."

"I didn't mean that-."

"Yes you did. And you're right. Ha, imagine that. You're right," the Master gave a mirthless laugh but still seemed perfectly calm and composed though.

"N0-."

"Ssh. Don't argue," the Master told him, his voice for once not harsh but rather desperate and pleading. He moved a little closer to the Doctor feeling the blade tip pressing against his chest and feeling his hearts beating an erratic, fearful thud against it, smiling a little at the feeling. He gently pressed his lips against the Doctor's, kissing him gently but meaningfully.

Just as the Doctor made to either say something or kiss him back, the Master gripped his hands firmly and pulled the knife forwards sharply into his own chest. He gasped in pain and sudden fear, eyes closing tightly and wincing against this invasion of his body. As expected, the drums exploded in to a deafening roar in his head.

The Doctor watched in horror and fear and confusion as the Master's knees gave way beneath him. He supported the other Time Lord to the ground, gently resting his head on his knee, one hand still holding the knife in his chest, fingers splayed around the blade trying to stop the bleeding, wishing this wasn't happening, pleading with time itself to rewind and change how this had happened. "Master, no!"

The Master smiled a little, dizzy, opening his eyes with difficultly. "You... have to follow... through with this," he gasped, finding it difficult to speak through the pain in his chest. He winced against the drumming in his head forcing the corners of his mind into turmoil and confusion.

"I didn't agree to this!"the Doctor pleaded helplessly, willing him to see sense.

The Master gave him a victorious smile, "Yes, but... you promised... to help me."

"Yes!" the Doctor agreed, shocked at this twisted logic, "Not by killing you! Master, please! Don't!" The Doctor's voice was thick with tears now, his cheeks streaked with evidence of his misery. "I... Master, I..."

"When... I regenerate," the Master said, eyes closed, his head lolling slightly in the Doctor's grip, "You have to do it again... Kill me... properly..." His fumbling fingers moved to the knife again, finding the Doctor's hand already sticky and warm with blood and then finding the knife. He closed his hand around it and tugged it out of his body with a jolt, breathing in sharply as he did so and whimpering in pain.

"I can't..." the Doctor pleaded with him, taking his face in one hand, "I..."

"What?"

"I..." The Doctor gave a hiccupping sob and then blurted out, "I love you! Please don't make me do this..."

The Master didn't seem surprised to hear the Doctor admit this. Rather, calmly accepting. "I...I know you do. That's... That's why I want you... to do this..."

"I don't understand!" the Doctor whimpered, "Why couldn't you just let me help you properly?"

"Because I don't... want that... You know me!" he tried to joke but the effort was too much. "I'm... too bloody stubborn..." Just then, the orange glow that signified regeneration became apparent, drifting from the Master's mouth along with the blood that tricked down his chin now.

"Please!" the Doctor begged, hysterical. "NO!"

"Do it..." the Master whispered desperately, his body shaking violently in the Doctor's grip.

"No!"

"DO IT!" the Master snarled, using the last of his energy to grab the Doctor's hand and forced the knife into it again, making him hold it and tried to find his second heart. "DO IT!"

"I love you..."

"...Please do it..." the Master whispered, tears in his eyes but looking desperate and helpless, his body clearly in turmoil from the regeneration process.

By some impossibility, the Doctor managed to find the strength to take the knife in his own grip and press it against the Master's frantically beating second heart which was fighting a losing battle to keep him alive. "I love you..." he whispered again before pressing it down, down into his childhood sweetheart's chest, forcing the life out of him one final time.

The Master cried out in sheer, desperate agony, making a grab for the Doctor's tie and pulling him down, closer, throwing his arm around his neck almost like a small child trying to get a hug from their father. "Say it again..."

The Doctor's voice was shaking violently, and he could barely see through the tears as he held the other man tightly. "I... I love you..."

"My name...?" the Master urged. "Say... my name... Let... Let me die... knowing who I am..."

"K-Koschei... M-my K-Koschei!" the Doctor whispered tragically, pulling the Master tighter into his arms and holding him tightly, almost like he was trying to force the life back into his body, willing him to survive, to regenerate, to come back and make everything alright.

"...And you're my ... My Theta..." the Master said, smiling through his own tears now. "I... You know what...? I...I love you too..."

The words had barely left his lips when his body went entirely limp, freezing for the last time, held tightly in the Doctor's arms... The one man the "Doctor" couldn't make better dying in his embrace leaving him, as always, alone... The last of the Time Lords...


End file.
